Goodness Prevails

Us women, we can be such complex creatures. We struggle to maintain a certain, je ne sais quoi while still having some sinister.... let's say, not so nice thoughts. We conflict. We conflict with ourselves. We strive to be that good person we are all taught to be as children, but we just can't help but wonder... what happens if I tell her the truth? Does it make me a bad person? Should I tell her what I really think? Maybe I shouldn't. But in the end, it's necessary... necessary to ask yourself... do my words have meaning? Are they going to help someone in despair? Are my ACTIONS going to spare some future embarrassment for them? You then reason with yourself: convince yourself you're trying to do good. That your actions are going to make a difference. Where does it EVER stop? So here begins another tale that I am sure we can all in some way relate.... well truthfully, I don't know if I really want you to relate to this one, for it was no party. So today, I had an exam. As I sat reading my scribbled notes, I noticed a stranger sitting next to me studying for the same exam. She strikes me as the friendly type- so, I asked her a question and she, politely enough, leaned over and answered. My impression of her was correct. She was indeed friendly. (I'm a pretty good judge of character huh!) Now, as I continued reading my notes, my nose started to tickle. But it didn't tickle because I was about to sneeze, it tickled for some other reason. A scent. I've taken in that scent before and it wasn't the most memorable moment for yours truly. It hit me hard. This odd scent was coming from the friendly stranger. How disappointing! I rolled my eyes and chuckled in secret hoping that no one would see me and think I belonged in some asylum on Queen St. I wanted to tell her. But I… struggled. Afterall, she did answer my question nicely. Would I hurt her feelings? If I moved, would she know something was wrong? I remained fixed to my spot. I suffered. I breathed slowly hoping that I couldn't get the full stentch of what seemed to be dirty hair, while still trying to read my notes. Should I tell her? Am I turning red from the lack of sufficent breath? She may not know? I would be helping her. In the end, after all this internal strife, I didn't say a word. That good person that lays clandestinely inside this body of mine, engulfed me. I would hurt her. I didn't want to do that. I endured a painful ten minutes that will forever be the longest ten minutes of my life but in the end, I didn't hurt her. She didn't deserve it. I humbly figured, why would I reserve a spot for myself, down in the musty hollows, when someone who is truly sinister deserves it more than moi. That just wouldn't seem like the righteous thing to do right? Of course not. So you see my friends, when we take a moment to fuse those unpleasant thoughts with some good rationale and some good sense, we can overcome the most unbearing of situations and come out being the good person we all are.